Victim Blaming Needs To Stop — Now
In discussions surrounding crimes such as rape, fraud, theft, and so on, more blame is often placed on victims than the perpetrators. Victims are scolded for not “doing enough” to prevent the occurrence of the unfortunate event. And often, criminals — the actual bad guys — almost never receive the same level of criticism.
We do not ask why criminals commit crimes. Rather, we ask survivors why they “allowed” the crime to happen to them. Pretty ironic, eh?
I must note here that victim-blaming is not always a conscious decision. In fact, most people are not aware that their actions or words are a form of victim-blaming. But this does not excuse such individuals for exhibiting a lack of empathy towards victims. Because that is what victim blaming represents: an inability to empathize with survivors.
Explaining The Prevalence Of Victim Blaming
Victim blaming is a daily experience for many people — both offline and online. Rape survivors are criticized for “wearing skimpy clothing” or “getting drunk”. Victims of fraud are chided for being “too trusting” and “too nice”. In these cases, victims are partly — or totally — blamed for their misfortune.
Research suggests that our belief in universal fairness may be responsible for the prevalence of victim-blaming. We want to see the world as a fair and just place where everyone gets what they deserve. Good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people.
So when someone tells of his misfortune we think surely, he must have done something to deserve it. Either this or we come to terms with the sad reality that misfortune can befall anyone. Whether you are good, careful, or nice does not matter — if it will happen, nothing can stop it.
However, many of us reject this uncomfortable truth and tell ourselves that we can protect ourselves by doing the “right” things. This is why we love blaming victims. If we blame them, we can continue to feel “safe” in the knowledge that we’ll never make the same mistakes and those bad things will never happen to us.
Hindsight bias also plays a role in the prevalence of victim-blaming. Hindsight bias is a tendency to view events as being predictable — after they occur. In other words, we look at something that happened in the past and think, “I should have seen this coming”.
Influenced by the hindsight bias, we suggest that victims should have known or at least expected the “consequences” of their actions. A girl says “I got raped at night”, and we say “What did you expect from being out so late at night?” Or my favourite one: “You got scammed? Should have known better than to talk to those guys.”
The hindsight bias presupposes that we can somehow predict the outcome of our actions. But the truth is we cannot; at least, in nine cases out of ten. So Jane could not have known her date was dangerous. And no, she did not expect him to spike her drink either. If she comes out to say she was raped, avoid asking why she did not “see the signs” or “smell the drink”.
Ending Victim-Blaming In Society
Whether you recognize it or not, victim blaming is harmful to society. Victim-blaming is precisely the reason why many victims prefer to remain silent. Why? They do not want to be judged or shamed or worse, held at fault for the crime or attack. This is particularly common in cases of sexual violence and abuse.
How can you help end the culture of victim blaming in Nigeria? First, remove the idea of a “just world” and understand that bad things can happen to anyone — even those that do not deserve it.
Second, be empathetic as much as possible to victims. Do not, in any way, blame them for the attack they suffered. This means you do not say something like “Why did he not do XYZ to prevent the event?”. That, or any other statement aimed at placing responsibility for an assault on the survivor.
Also, when your friends narrate their ordeals, resist the urge to judge them. If you do not have meaningful to say other than “If you had done XYZ, this would not happen”, avoid saying anything at all.
Not only are you increasing their trauma by making them feel at fault what happened, you’re also being a sanctimonious prick exhibiting an almost psychopathic lack of sympathy. Next time when someone confides in you, listen patiently and make it clear you can hear them out without judging.
Finally, we should collectively pay more attention to the perpetrators instead of the victims. Rather than questioning the role of the victim’s behavior in the chain of events, we should ask why the criminals chose to commit a crime. It’s high time we stood by victims, not against them.
